| "When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you." — Lao Tzu |
I kept a gratitude journal for years. Every night I wrote down a few things I was thankful for, no matter how small.
Then life got busy. I started Pure Placid. My schedule took over. I still opened my journal some nights, but the ritual slipped away.
During that time I had more success, more responsibility, more of everything. Everything grew except my happiness. I was so focused on how hard the climb was that I lost sight of being grateful I had a mountain to climb at all.
So I started looking for things to be grateful for again. And so much showed up.
Today I'm still busy. But it's different now. I journal, and when there's a grateful moment, I note it. I'm happier. I believe you make more good for yourself when you notice all that you have.
Why I light a candle first
A ritual needs a start. For me, it's a match.
Scent is the only sense with a direct line to the part of the brain that holds emotion and memory. When I light the same candle every night, the scent becomes a cue. My body knows what comes next. I slow down. I get quiet. I'm ready to notice.
That's why I made the Gratitude candle. Soft fig, fresh basil and warm sandalwood. It smells like a deep breath taken on purpose.
The ritual
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1. Light the candle. Take one slow breath and let the scent fill the room. 2. Write one thing. Go deep, not long. Why does it matter? How does it make you feel? 3. Make it a person when you can. Gratitude for people goes further than gratitude for things. 4. Notice the surprises. The moments you didn't plan for bring the strongest feeling. 5. Sit with it. Read it back. Feel it for a minute. Then blow out the candle. |
That's it. Five minutes. Morning or night, pen or phone. There's no right way. The habit is what matters.
Go deeper: a person, a place, a thing, a struggle
When I want more than one line, I use four prompts.
- A person. Someone who left a mark on your life. Picture their face. Let the feeling fill you.
- A place. Where your heart finds peace. A mountaintop, a beach, a corner of your sofa. What does it smell like?
- A thing. A ring. Old sneakers. A sweatshirt that still smells like your grandpa. Hold it in your mind and be glad it's yours.
- A struggle. Something hard that gave you something good. Find the small gift inside it.
Try subtraction
Think about your life without one of the good things in it. Your best friend. Your health. Your morning coffee. It's a fast way to feel how much it matters.
Look for glimmers
I call the small good moments glimmers. Sitting and talking with my husband. The sound of water. Getting into bed after a long day.
The first time I really noticed one, I was having a crazy workday and couldn't catch my breath. Then I saw the sun coming through my office window. It made me stop and breathe. It changed the rest of my day.
Once you train your brain to look for glimmers, you see them everywhere. They string together. They change your day, your week, your month.
When it's hard
It's easy to be grateful when life is good. When life is hard, gratitude is the last thing I want to think about. That's when I need it most.
Gratitude isn't about ignoring the bad stuff. I get mad. I grieve. I cry like everyone else. But I find something, even something tiny, to be grateful for. It doesn't fix the problem. It changes how I carry it.
Pass it on
One of my favorite practices is writing thank-you notes. I pick three reasons I'm grateful for someone and tell them how they make me feel. It lifts them up. It lifts me more.
November is National Gratitude Month. Light the candle. Write one thing. Then tell one person.
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Fig · Basil · Sandalwood Start your gratitude ritual tonight. Shop the Gratitude Candle |
Looking for more scents that help you clear your head? Explore the Reset collection.